I remember being pregnant with Lily.
Ricky adored all the changes going on within my body as I sacrificed so much emotionally, and physically for our baby girl to be born. I remember the look in his eyes as he told me in all seriousness how much he valued the stretch marks that began to appear. He knew they were a sign that our baby girl was healthy and growing. He also understood they represented the the dedication I had to our home and family.
He really helped me embrace the new changes I was going through during that new and interesting change of life. He has held my hand through difficult self discovery of becoming a new parent.
Taffy Broadesser-Akner wrote an article
"Dancing with the scars" about trying to belly dance shortly after her son was born.
She describes coming to class and putting on a scarf trimmed with medal charms meant to make twinkly music when you dance. When she began to shake her hips it only reminded her of a clunky cowbell - trying to alert people to get out of the way when she moved toward them.
Pregnancy had done it's thing, but she was trying not to let it get her down.
"Despite my efforts, you can't actually see my abdomen doing anything. My muscles were so disengaged ... my stomach hasn't learned to move along with me yet. It's as if there are two of me: the one
undulating beneath, and the one standing
still outside.
"I want to stop and explain myself, ... I can't, it would take too much energy. I'm exhausted from pretending life is normal with a newborn. ... I'm exhausted from the sheer amount of energy it has taken to fuel this hatred for my new body.
"As I'm devising a graceful exit
(the teacher) says to us,
'I want all of you to find yourselves beautiful' I look in the mirror and see that tears have sprung to my eyes.
"
(As I continued to search) there were parts that remained unchanged - my sparkly eyes, dimpled cheeks...
"And so I did it. I found myself. And then I found myself beautiful."
"Afterword I reached for my trusty stretch-mark cream, but I paused as it dawned on me: Stretch marks are not only at your skin's surface. They come from within. Just like strength. Just like fortitude. Just like beauty. And just like my infant son.
"(I wished) that one day I'd look as if I'd never been pregnant. The only problem was I had been pregnant. Pregnancy changed me. Shouldn't it, though? And shouldn't it leave a mark on me physically?
"(Belly-dancing) reshaped my attitude. It taught me that, like the stretch marks, ... change would come from deep within me. It was time to (re)acquaint myself. First with hesitation, but finally, with awe."
