Gingerbread Ma'am

Ricky and Lily playing tag around the house,
Lily: "You can't catch me, i'm the gingerbread man!"
Ricky: "You Don't look like a man to me!"
Lily: I meant ginger bread Ma'am!"

I live everyday to the fullest....

I quit smoking over eight years ago.
Today I'm celebrating my first full year without any cravings.

It's something very few people know about me.
I was only a light social smoker for three MONTHS, and these have been my consequences.

I had no idea what a risk I was taking by taking that first puff, and how much willpower it would take for the rest of my life to stay clean.
I'm so thankful for the strength I've received from my Savior Jesus Christ to quit, and the motivation I have from my family to keep it that way.
I'm really making progress now as a new person. I've been free from these chains, at least for this year. I'm not looking back and I've had so many blessings for it.

Now that I've made this much progress, I feel comfortable speaking about it publicly.
There have been heart breaking moments during the beginning of my marriage, two pregnancies and other vital times with these cravings that would make me shake from head to toe with thirst in my throat for something I knew would hurt me deeply, and worse, hurt the babies I love so dearly.
I knew then (and more so now) that God allowed me to have this experience in my time on earth as a proving ground. I needed to prove my loyalty to myself, over and over again. I haven't stopped praying for help. Although I've never put another cigarette to my mouth since that defining moment eight years ago, this is the first time I'm really getting somewhere.

Today I feel so free.

I have felt whole from the moment I repented and asked God for forgiveness, and after almost 9 years I feel like I don't have to fully rely on his grace to carry me from day to day with this craving, but that I'm self sufficient in being grounded and strong on my own.

It has been worth it.
Every moment of quitting has been worth it.

I'm proud to be a healthy mom and a loving wife, undistracted from this fear today.

Barbie Wedding Album

Wedding Album

of

Ken & Barbie

 Adorable photos found here:

http://www.glamour.com/weddings/blogs/save-the-date/2011/08/real-wedding-album-barbie-ken.html

Quote: charitable instincts

Follow your charitable instincts,
God is talking through you.

Quote - Our deepest fear

A quote that has been my mantra this month. It has been the driving force behind all that I'm planing into my life on a daily basis, and everything I'm hoping to become for my future.
This quote has re-difined who I am as I person and is the mission statement for the thought process on which I have based almost all my choices in life. Until now, I have not been able to put it into words.
I bring it up at this time to inspire myself (I read it almost daily) to stick the the path that is not always easy to choose. I need to continue shaping and re-difinging myself to reach my greatest potential.

Now - I dedicate this to my dear friend Remi, in his time of need.
I've placed this in an easy accessible spot for frequent re-reading. I hope this will become the cliff ledge that helps you quit holding on, and finally climb to the top like you've long deserved.
Much love,
Katie

Our Deepest Fear
By Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us. 

We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. 

Your playing small
Does not serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine,
As children do.

We were born to make manifest
The glory of God that is within us. 

It's not just in some of us;
It's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we're liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

Pointless Street Flyers

Brilliant Street Flyers

Click here for link

Mothers: Planting the seed of wisdom

I commonly hear my peers, and myself (gals in their 20s) using phrases like,
"I never learned to...."
"My parents never taught me..."
"I wish I would have known..."

As I have become a parent, I've rolled around my life experiences over and over in a new light. Suddenly - there are two sides to every story. Why my mom had me avoid certain situations because of social "dos and don'ts", when I only thought she was being unfair and hampering my independence, or why she used specific wording when describing something important.
I've reviewed the past, questioning every motive behind all the parenting decisions she made on my behalf.
Where they fell short for my personality type and not my brother's, what my mom supposedly "lacked" in her tremendous outpouring of sacrifice and giving to me.

Then I have these amazing moments where the pieces of the puzzle fit together, and I can get the healing from resentment that I've longed for.

The newest discovery came from talking to a complete stranger about my pain, while in a waiting room at the temple. I was resenting the way my mother helped me learn a few things, when it occurred to me that with MY own children - I'm constantly being told at the very moment, the things that I should do for them. I'm inspired by God (commonly known as - mommy intuition) what to say, how to phrase it, what to teach and when. How could I ever believe that my mom was not the same way? Now, I let the small stuff fly - maybe I let my kids play in the toilet during an important phone call - but I NEVER fail to insist on correct principals when the time is right, and the effects are far reaching.

Then as my two year old was going from one activity to another, messing everything up along the way I thought.... "Don't put her in time-out for the 10th time this hour. Pick your battles and relax." feeling confident that the learning experience would present itself again in the future.

I have to make every opportunity count.
But there is so much to teach!

My own children will have their list of imperfections about my ability to aid them in all the answers too.

Some concepts can only be experienced. Things like money management were concepts that I couldn't begin to comprehend until I moved out on my own and learned what it felt like to starve. Other principals came naturally by explanation and example.

How could I honestly say "My mother never taught me to ... _____ ..."

.... so it occured to me,

- she planted the seed.

 

She knew what she was doing, and that it would take root in it's own proper time. She was wise, patient and walked with quiet reassurance from a higher power that she was doing the right thing.

"I never learned....."

because the root had to take - at it's own pace.

I thank my mom for planting the seed.