Be Consistent

Parenting books repeat the phrase "Be consistent in your discipline."

Every night I chase Lily to bed. I threaten to close her door if she doesn't stay in her room. She squeals "ahhh! This door open!" as she jumps back under the covers.... only to do it again 45 seconds later.

One night I made tally marks for every time I chased her back to bed. After 47 attempes in 30 minuets I started having regular contractions, so I ended all attempts by getting daddy.

I pulled out all my mommy tricks for weeks trying to get her to stay in her own bed.
Now I tie her door shut.
Overreacting? -maybe... but she doesn't seemed to be scared from it.

Night after night I chase her... I question how long I can go on like this,
*voice echos* "Be consistent mom, you can do this."

13 times back to bed.... why am I upset?
My daughter is more consistent than me!

Loving Siblings

I only have one sibling, an older brother. When he was away from home (scout camp, friend's house) I found myself feeling home sick for his return. Mom would close the door part way to help me think he was still across the hall keeping me safe. She let me sleep in his bed occasionally, or stuff the blankets so it would look like he was there.

I wonder if my brother ever really knew how much I loved him and needed his affection, reassurance and safety in my life?  - Maybe only sub-consciously.

Through out this pregnancy I've often spent time day dreaming about the personality quirks our new baby girl will have. I can feel "Tawny" getting excited when she hears Lily (2yrs) jumping on the bed and wrestling with daddy. Tawny leans into Lily's sounds trying to further investigate. I've also experienced Tawny's feelings of anticipation and love as she's listened to the natural sounds of life, just waiting to come out and play with us.

Is Lily even aware of Tawny's dependency on her from before birth?

Lily's room is now re-arranged with two cribs, more drawer space for clothes, the closet split in two, the rocking chair placed just perfectly. Lily loves jumping in Tawny's bed and pretending her new little sister is already here with us imagining we're ice skating, eating pizza, or talking about
spooky hairy monsters that say "wubba, wubba, wubba!" 

 

This week I've been finding Lily sleeping in Tawny's bed. 

A secret portrayal of her affection for her sister, who's not even here yet. She's reaching out and longing for her new best friend. 

Does Tawny realize Lily's emotional connection and dependency on her?

Today Ricky and I talked about Lily's independence. She needs responsibility, respect and purpose. I don't think she could have gone on much longer as the only child. I imagine us getting up as a whole family when the baby needs to nurse at 2am. I think Lily will crawl into bed with us and tell stories (at least, at first). She'll want to be a part of the bigger picture of nurturing Tawny, even the sleep deprivation involved with this kind of commitment.

Ricky stated, "When you first became pregnant I thought - how will we care for two babies? Now I see that it will be three of us caring for one baby. From now on Lily will be a very important part of our lives in taking care of our children, and she already knows that it's coming." 

Before becoming a mother, did I even realize that my future dependency would hang on a loving husband and a wonderful, dependable child with the heart much larger than I could have imagined?

Ricky and I are one, and now - Lily joins us as a peer.

Poo Stories

I was just remembering the great chapters and chapters of poo stories that fill my life.
Every one of them brings me joy.
My friends and I have been swapping poo stories all week, and I was reminded of my favorite story. I can't believe this happened to me......

Road trip!

I run into the gas station as quickly as I can and choose one of two stalls. "Great, there's a floater" whatever - I'm going.

I flush, and flush and flush - this thing still floats to the top.

I keep thinking "well I can't walk out of here when someone's waiting in line. Iiiiii don't want to be blamed for this un-flushable thing"

I take wads of toilet paper to weigh it down, I use the toilet plunger to push it down during a flush
- nothing, NOTHING!


I suck up my pride and decide i'm giving up, BUT as I go to un-lock the stall a BUS LOAD OF KIDS barge into the bathroom.
I freak and lock myself back in!

(remember there are only 2 stalls)
yes... hate to admit it... I waited it out while 13 kids used one stall.

Finally the coast was clear, and I booked it out of there so fast!
25 min had gone by because I was such a wuss about someone else's stink.

*facepalm*

Why did I have kids?
Because I think poop jokes are SOOOOO funny!
I needed new material, so I produce children to invent punchlines for me.

Top Ten

Top Ten reasons you fell in love with your baby
.... and out of love with your old boyfriend

1) His endless babbling

2) He loved snuggling in your bed - but always wanted to go back to his own crib after.

3) His way of spending hours roaming around the house naked, his poochy belly hanging out.

4) The wet, sloppy kissed.

5) He was content to lie quieltly and gaze at his navel as you did all the housework.

6) His birthday gift to you was simply a wilted flower.

7) His idea of dancing was to bend his legs and bob up and down with a goofy, self-congratulatory grin.

8) His smell.

9) You could always count on him burping right after he finished a meal.

10) The fact that he'll never, ever love anyone as much as he loves mommy.

- Deborah Skolnik

As seen in Parenting magazine

Poetic Reading of a break-up Letter

 

I couldn't pass up posting this amazing break up letter.
You'll need speakers to enjoy it fully,
it made me weep with laughter.
Even the URL is great.


http://youmakemetouchyourhandsforstupidreasons.ytmnd.com/
 

Warning: It contains 2 cuss words at the bottom
  I suppose the middle schooler thought that was necessary to prove herself.

Lunch on the monitor & Fighting fire with fire

Monday - I went into false labor for 24 hours. A little nerve wracking since i'm only 29 / 40 weeks along. It would be a tragedy to my baby's lungs, brain and weight progression. I also got to thinking about all the things I haven't done to get ready, the things I wanted to disinfect, and the things I've been slacking on buying...etc.

Tuesday - I got to eat lunch at the hospital while on the fetal monitor checking the rhythm of my contractions. This is just an example of the read out.
The spikes on the right are the rhythm of the contractions. The spikes on the left follow the baby's heart rate.

My contraction spikes - were not this cute and round, they were small and sharp, coming on quickly and going away quickly.

Baby's heart rate - Stayed great till I ate my PB&J, the sugar made baby move all over the place and we more or less gave up trying to track her. The nurse said "At least we know she's in there!" .... if it's a she... whatever. I'll be getting another ultrasound tomorrow! *cross fingers* for finding out the gender.

My pulse - stayed very high 112 (it's suppose to hang out in the 80's while pregnant). Things have calmed down now and luckily I didn't need any medicine to slow down the labor, just some good rest and fluids.

WOW, fluids - I didn't realize how hard my body was working during that 24 hours. I'm so glad for Pedialyte.


Wednesday - It's like this labor thing never happened, Lily's got me running like crazy :) stinker. She's knocked over the trash can and laughed in my face at every time out today. She just gets up and runs away from punishment. Wednesdays are part of my angry pregnancy cycle during the week, so I got her down for a nap and couldn't stop pouting and grinding my teeth for the rest of the afternoon. {headache} o_O

I'll admit I was one (symbolically) to run from punishment too. My mom was a little bit lax and didn't always follow through with punishments she set. It made me feel the power of "controlling my environment" at an early age, something that I'm trying to gain humility from and never go back to. In a sense I'm at a loss for what to do with Lily this week. I feel like "NO! Just obey me! I already laid out the rules" I want the control, abit. (Yuck... I just admitted it.)

Obviously Time-outs are not a "currency" she cares to loose,

I'll have to get more creative again *sigh*. 

While she napped I packed away a giant box of toys, taking back control of my house, at least. It's cleaner now (just in time for more Christmas toys! hahaha). Now - If things get out of hand at least I can take away her toys without feeling exhausted at the task. They all fit in this nice little corner... almost.

How do I fight fire with fire with a darling girl that is so much like her mother? You would think it would be easy to think in her shoes and adjust accordingly... it's not... I'm surprised.... and that's what frustrates me the most.
 
Wednesday Night - If she's "responsible" enough to climb out of bed we're allowing her to be responsible enough to take herself potty at night. Tonight we lowered the crib slat, gave her a step stool, set up a lamp in the bathroom that is easy to turn on. She was thrilled to get out of bed and flip the lamp on and off for a few hours. It's only 10:30 and she just gave up and fell asleep. I think everything will be alright. I've noticed a few problems with my own consistency in discipline, talking it out with Ricky I feel like we have a better plan for the future. The house is quiet now, the victory is won for another 12 hours. I feel peaceful, happy, fulfilled. I've learned a lot this week and I have Ricky by my side. He's been really awesome and supportive. He reminds me to rest my body. I've only had contractions for 30 mins today. Our family is well taken care of. I'm glad we all get to stay together and help each other.

Jesus loves all equally

Miracles have not ceased. God still loves his children and wishes for them to have opportunities to see how much he loves them. God speaks, every day in nature, through His word, by His holy spirit, in circumstances and through people.Over this past month I've begun to count my blessings and ask God to show me the things I've been given to be grateful for. The unique relationship I have with my family keeps topping the list daily. I'm thankful for the gifts of knowledge God has given me, through prayers He's answered.

God Speaks, Miracles have not ceased.

In John 10:16 Jesus' disciples were upset that he was leaving. They wanted to understand the purpose of Jesus only staying on earth for a short time after the resurrection. They loved him and wanted to remain by his side to learn from his example for the rest of their lives. And Jesus answered them and said- "And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd."


I prayed to receive personal revelation concerning the meaning of this. Through more study the Lord told me it was a fulfillment of prophecy. God told Jesus there would be more people in other parts of the world looking for the signs of His coming and they needed him as much as the people in Jerusalem did. He had more lives to enrich. He needed to teach more people about the path that they should follow to receive Salvation.

I've come to more fully understand and appreciate the time Jesus spent on the earth teaching his apostles about Charity and teaching them to take time for the individual. Another source of scripture I have come to trust fully is the Book Of Mormon. In 3Nephi chapter 11 Christ comes to the native Americans living in North / South America and teaches many of the same principals of love and healing. Having a second witness to my soul that Jesus loves his children all over the world and wishes for them to come to Him.

How fortunate am I that God knew I would wonder about this scripture. He prepared a way for me to receive the answer to my prayer by asking a prophet who lived over 2,000 yrs ago to document the things of their time. The answer to my question was written on gold plates buried in the ground and are now written in the English language in a book called The Book Of Mormon.

I found this Movie clip about modern revelation and the Book Of Mormon. I love our Savior. I know he sacrificed his life for me. I feel his grace pour upon me every time I ask for forgiveness and work a little harder to become like him. I know he loves me. I feel his spirit impress upon my mind what I should do and how I should act. The very core of my being testifies that he Lives, that he still speaks. I hold The Book of Mormon and Bible in my hand and know this is a tangible gift God has given me to prove his love and his existence in my life. I have more purpose when I study from these books. They make me feel more whole than any other source of education I have ever used.

I hold The Book of Mormon and Bible in my hand and know this is a tangible gift God has given me to prove his love and his existence in my life.

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Baby : The instruction guide

http://www.marcofolio.net/imagedump/how_to_and_not_to_take_care_of_a_baby.html
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Mother Birds

We were waiting in the hospital lobby today, just getting routine blood work done for pregnancy. I decide to run to the bathroom. Lily said she would wait in the chair for me. I explain in several different ways that the bathroom door is right behind her, I'll be quick, stay in the chair, mommy's just going potty, she was fine.

The minuet the door closed I could hear her yelling -
"Mommy?... Mommy! Where are you? Come back mommy!"
I roll my eyes and finish quickly, wash my hands and dart out the door smiling big to reassure her.

A woman was already "casually" hovering closer and closer trying to comfort her without anyone noticing.
She acted like there was a painting on the wall to look at.
A Woman on the other side was slowly closing in the same way (shuffling "dirt" with her feet) her shoulders were tense as she looked around trying to spot this poor scared baby's mother.


"HI!" I yelled with excitement as I made my way back to her chair.
The women instantly relaxed and looked at each other as if to say:
"I knew everything was alright... I just had to be sure."
"Oh yes, yes - me too. I knew everything was alright."

I pretended not to notice them. I picked her up enthusiastically
"did you forget where I was?"

She smiled so big and said "Oh mommy I love you!... Your hands smell like Doctor soap!"

Turning to Lily in hard times

It was a ruff night trying to get Lily into bed tonight. I called Ricky a few times taking my frustration out saying "what do I do with this kid!?" it was no help. For once saying it out loud just made the situation worse. Lily was crying in the background, for the millionth time. I got her out of bed and decided honesty was the best policy.

I told her regretfully that I was having a hard time helping her. I told her I was feeling sad and angry. I told her that hearing her cry made me not want to spend time helping her, it only made things feel worse.

She saw me getting tears of frustration in my eyes, I think she felt scared. Kids expect their parents to always be the strongest people in the world. If I was losing it, the world was probably going to end.

She hugged me again and again saying, "I want mommy to be happy. Do you feel happy mommy?" she kissed me several times and we sat together on the bathroom floor, both of us a wreck, helping each other cry and get it all out.

Rocking her after that felt easy. She wasn't worried about herself anymore, and I wasn't worried about giving with an empty bucket. I felt like we were peers, loving each other and talking about fun things.




- We reminisced about the sound of fireworks, how fun it is to run around at the bowling ally, how peeing in a big toilet is a liberating experience when your trying not to fall in, how fun the Halloween light show was tonight and how much we wished daddy could be there with us (he was working tonight).

She's reminded me of all the fun stuff life is made of.

Tribute To Toddler Fashion

I LOVE this picture of Lily. I took it just so she could look back at herself and enjoy the comedic feel of comfort. She's so free spirited and playful. I think everything about her wardrobe choices exemplify that.

 

 Thank you to my wonderful Mother-in-law for the adorable dress on Lily's birthday. She's still a forever fan of mice. 

This outfit goes great with her sparkly red shoes. When she goes into public people yell  -

  "Look mom! it's Dorthy!"

We always joke that someday we will name our child something cool like "Stargirl" or "pocket mouse" but in the book Stargirl - Susan Caraway was so cool that she named herself those things, so a parent-imposed cool name wouldn't really work, now would it?

 I'm in love with my little family

          I think Ricky makes the cutest babies!

 Diaper Butt jacuzzi, 
doubles as a pedicure bucket

 The Cocoon look. Best way to sleep in comfort

 

The outdoor look

Avant-garde

Big foot, Big Cheeser, Big cheerio smasher

 Lily performing the modest rendition of  "Ba Ba Black Sheep"

She was adored by her paparazzi fans in church when she entered in these tooth shaped sun-glasses.

Lily Ann is an avid supporter of the 'toddler for better dental health' campaign.

 

Oh my sweet Lily!

What would my world be without you?

Much Needed laugh for me.

Thyme Photography: Family Gatherings 2009

URL to more from this photo shoot:
Thyme Photography: Family Gatherings 2009
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My hands are streched forth still

As I laid in bed, my eyes began to wet the pillow. My body felt weak and deflated. I just give and give and give all the day long, I had nothing left.

As the anxiety calmed, I felt a warm glow pour into my body, as though I were a goblet being filled with light. I felt the spirit of the Lord testify to me that He was the one lifting me when I had nothing left to give, it was through the Lord that I felt necessary to be kind and loving throughout the day. I realized I was working through God to fulfill his purposes for my family and others I had come into contact with that day.

Finally, it was my turn. As my heart turned in gratitude for a loving Savior and a wise Father in Heaven, my cup was full. I soon realized that the Lord gives and gives and gives to me - all the day long.

Grumpiest day this week

(Forward note: this is a grumpy one, so I made myself go back over it and count my blessings in bold. I apologize if it's distracting. It's not for you, it's for me :) 54 blessing. Not bad at all ...)


I write these "wisdom" things to remind myself that I need to become perfect. I'm noticing a trend with this pregnancy. For once in my life I've become ANGRY (only every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday- that's doable, right?). I can't seem to control it before the explosion, so I've been learning to apologize more frequently, which requires infinite humility on my end - and infinite patience, forgiveness and understanding from my family.
Here's what happened today:

• Lily tosses a full thing of yogurt off the highchair. Giant mess, time-out. Ricky cleaned it up.
• Lily tosses a toy into the garbage can. Yell, yell - time out. Get another minuet for... whatever it was...
• I cleaned half the bathroom! I deserve a million kisses!
• Lily tosses her diaper bag into the garbage can. - time out. Added another minuet for... something....
• Ricky does the dishes! Oh good, lets exchange kisses now.
• Jump into the shower in hopes of having a better day.
• While I'm brushing my teeth, Lily puts another toy in the trash can. -Time out (thanks dad, I couldn't yell that time.)
• Ricky gets un-expected homework assignment. We post-pone our trip to the grocery store.

• Lily does something else... whatever it was... I freaked out and decided all her toys needed to go away. We picked out a box and she helped me pack away all her toys and hide them for the rest of the day. If she can't take care of them, she doesn't get them. I'm done with this redundant time-out method.

I've never heard Lily cry so hard. She was so overwhelmed by my tourcher. It's the meanest mommy thing I've ever done (for sure) but considering she's only 2, the party is just beginning. - dang.
We made up and had a nice talk. I validated her feelings "that was really hard for you. I know it hurt your feelings to see your toys go away. I hope this can help us remember next time to think before we do mean things to our toys." we talked about how the fights all morning were not really about the toys at all. She wanted someone to play with and we were piled high with chores. We talked about being patient and waiting for the things we need. We all had a nice family hug.

• Grocery store time!
• Lily manages to get out of the cart and run away.
• She tosses a metal colander, making a giant noise. I grab her face and whisper grumpy mommy things. A store worker comes to check if we're dead. I snap out of mean mommy mode and giggle "oh, she's just making noise, we're fine. Thanks for checking" and ride away kicking myself for scolding her the way I promised myself I never would.
• Lots of wiggling and power struggles..... some toddler nonsense I've blocked out.
• Finally checking out. The lady standing behind me hogs the convaier belt. I don't have enough room for my things. I want to beat her.... but I didn't! (a million kisses for me)
• My debit card doesn't work (great... must have let something slide for too long)
• Kissed Ricky goodbye in the parking lot, he's off to work.

Here's where things start looking up, promise.

• Lily helps carry grocierices into the house!
• We added 25 items to our food storage!
• Lily and I work as a team, congratulating each other for a job well done.
• Dr. appointment.- Lily's fine, I took her in because i'm paranoid  I love her so much. oh, but we both got un-expected flu shots... that wasn't so good. BUT! I was really brave for both of us, and I probably deserve a cheesecake. The nurse heard me say that, so she gave me chocolate instead. That was really nice of her.
• Snack time! - Nutella sandwich. That's worth blogging about.
• Nap time!
• Lily pooped in the toilet for the second time ever! - she gets a Kit-Kat!
• Got a load of laundry done, thanks to Lily's potty accident this morning.
• Did a million other little things over the next hour. Feeling good about myself.
• Ran out of eggs, so I ate Mac & Cheese for dinner, but Lily didn't complain.
• Did some paper work, which always makes me feel better about myself. I'm addicted to paperwork.
• Read books with Lily!
• Lily wripped a book. Time-out.
• We learned to tape it together, she thought that was interesting.
• Lily screams her head off. Time out.
• More story time.
• She's exhausted and wants to go to bed early tonight, seriously? I LOVE YOU! Did I ever mention I love Lily, and I love being a mom?
• Things ran smoothly, Lily got a reward for not running away during teeth brushing. Scriptures went quickly, she repeated more verses than usual. Peaceful night.

It felt really nice to rant. Pretty much things started looking up when I got chocolate into my system. ooooooh yuck, a cricket on the floor. This makes me want to beat something. It jumped pretty fast. Are you kidding me? I'm so pregnant I can't chase this thing on all fours. I'm lucky my belly doesn't drag on the ground while I sneak around trying to trap it. Ohhhh yuck, time for more chocolate. I'll let Ricky kill it. Only an hour away and he'll be home from work like a knight in shining armor, looking forward to kissing me and rubbing my back... I think.

*sigh* At least I know Thursday will be a good day.
Katie

Wisdom for New Mothers

I've dedicated this post to all women (and a few great dad's) who have inspired this wisdom in me, as well as moms (past/ present and future) in my life.

This link - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taDqKWWPDAY&feature=player_embedded

made me think about what I went though mentally as I changed into a mother with my first pregnancy. They asked moms to share a message "what would you say to your pre-mom self if you could go back with the knowledge of today?" I'm still changing as a person with anticipation of my second baby. I thought all of us mommies could benefit from walking down memory lane and share wisdom here.

Here are a few pieces of wisdom I've picked up from blogs:

(in no particular order)

• "It’s ok to feel whatever your feeling; it’s OK not to always feel blissful about being a mom. It’s normal to feel angry, frustrated, and sad sometimes, and that it doesn’t make you a bad mom or a bad person – just human. There was plenty of tears and guilt for me when I’d get like that and I think I’d have saved myself a LOT of heartache if I’d just allowed those emotions to be what they were and then let them go, instead of dwelling on them and beating myself up for feeling anything but blissful joy at being a mom."
• "Take things a little easier, love ourselves for who we are and remember that there are no rules, just our hearts and our minds to guide us."
• “You will mess up. And it will be OK anyway.”
• “You can embrace the unknown”
• "Don’t compare yourself to other mothers. We are all making it up as we go along."
• “Life gets incredibly happy when you really learn how to love someone else”
• "Changing a baby in a public restroom is difficult. So is washing your hands while holding a newborn."
• "When you have a newborn, you can miss your husband even if he's sitting in the same room as you are."

The last few are taken from this cute post from a new mom-

http://soimgoingtobeamom.blogspot.com/2010/09/free-adorable-well-mannered-baby-boy.html

A few I received when becoming a new mom:

• Monkey see, Monkey do - Monkey we love you! ...... Baby see, baby do- Baby we love you!
• Even though you love your baby, sometimes you get tired. It's OK to put her in a crib and take a break. Say a prayer, come back later.
• Always ask your friends for help. Have a friend take baby if you need a break- Just do it! Accept help even when you feel you don't need it at THAT moment - it will recharge your batteries for later.
• Teach baby to clean early in life, then she will always be willing to help.
• Pray often and put the baby into the Lord's hands.
• Hold her when she cries (terrible twos) even when your instincts tell you to to discipline. It will catch her off guard and build trust.
• Sleep when baby sleeps. In later years you'll never regret letting the laundry go, but you'll always regret letting your baby go.
• "Spoiled" is not a lack of fun and love but instead a state of no boundaries.

Wisdom I received from my Father-In-Law:

• Kiss your kids, hug them and tell them every day that you love them.
• Love your husband and date him, and allow him to spoil you.
• Find honest excuses to sincerely praise your kids every day.
• Never, ever spank your kids; there is usually a better way.
• Never yell at your kids, if you can possibly avoid it, especially in public.
• Go on one-on-one mother-kid dates with each child every month.
• Have Family Home Evening every week, if possible.
• If you want your kids to learn a gospel principal or a golden rule, you live it first.
• Make sure your kids to their chores, rather than doing them yourself.
• Don't force your kids to do anything.
• Bribery can be an effective tool.
• Spend lots of time with your kids outdoors.
• Make sure your kids see your happy face more than they see your grumpy face.
• Listen to your kids more than you lecture them.
• Allow your kids to be kids; tell them "ok" and "yes" a lot more than you tell them "don't" and "no".
• From the very start, help your kids understand that missions and college etc- are simply a part of life, not an optional extra.
• Make your home a place of music and laughter.

A few of my thoughts this month:

• Don't expect anything and you'll never be disappointed. If your kids chose to be obedient praise them and praise yourself for being an effective communicator. Never take for grated the times they feel like being helpful.
• There is nothing effective about letting your child see you angry. It takes the attention off of their behavior and places it on your emotions- what a show! ie: Lily pretends she's going to climb back up onto that chair just to see my face go from happy to angry in a split second. She never learned that I care for her safety, she just learned I'm a great clown :)
• Why do we help clean? That's a way she show love to each other. Why don't we hit? Because that's not a love language. There is no other power struggle or words needed to describe the difference between good behavior and poor behavior. Christ taught "If you love me, keep my commandments". If we love each other we show it by being a team and thinking before we speak.
• I will always say please and thank you. If I speak as as politely as possible to strangers, there is no reason why my children should get anything less than my best. Every day.
• When I say "NO" I want an immediate reaction from my child. When my child says "NO" I should also stop immediately to show respect to my child by demonstrating the great power that comes from that word.
• I am mother, that does not always give me more authority to push my child around with verbal demands. We are created equal. My child should feel the inner strength that comes from equality at birth.
• If you parent with all your emotions and no logic, you'll be burnt out by lunch time.

A lot of these things apply to marriage, or other relationships we build.

I love my child. I'm so thankful to be entrusted with such great responsibility.

Katie