I live everyday to the fullest....

I quit smoking over eight years ago.
Today I'm celebrating my first full year without any cravings.

It's something very few people know about me.
I was only a light social smoker for three MONTHS, and these have been my consequences.

I had no idea what a risk I was taking by taking that first puff, and how much willpower it would take for the rest of my life to stay clean.
I'm so thankful for the strength I've received from my Savior Jesus Christ to quit, and the motivation I have from my family to keep it that way.
I'm really making progress now as a new person. I've been free from these chains, at least for this year. I'm not looking back and I've had so many blessings for it.

Now that I've made this much progress, I feel comfortable speaking about it publicly.
There have been heart breaking moments during the beginning of my marriage, two pregnancies and other vital times with these cravings that would make me shake from head to toe with thirst in my throat for something I knew would hurt me deeply, and worse, hurt the babies I love so dearly.
I knew then (and more so now) that God allowed me to have this experience in my time on earth as a proving ground. I needed to prove my loyalty to myself, over and over again. I haven't stopped praying for help. Although I've never put another cigarette to my mouth since that defining moment eight years ago, this is the first time I'm really getting somewhere.

Today I feel so free.

I have felt whole from the moment I repented and asked God for forgiveness, and after almost 9 years I feel like I don't have to fully rely on his grace to carry me from day to day with this craving, but that I'm self sufficient in being grounded and strong on my own.

It has been worth it.
Every moment of quitting has been worth it.

I'm proud to be a healthy mom and a loving wife, undistracted from this fear today.

Quote - Our deepest fear

A quote that has been my mantra this month. It has been the driving force behind all that I'm planing into my life on a daily basis, and everything I'm hoping to become for my future.
This quote has re-difined who I am as I person and is the mission statement for the thought process on which I have based almost all my choices in life. Until now, I have not been able to put it into words.
I bring it up at this time to inspire myself (I read it almost daily) to stick the the path that is not always easy to choose. I need to continue shaping and re-difinging myself to reach my greatest potential.

Now - I dedicate this to my dear friend Remi, in his time of need.
I've placed this in an easy accessible spot for frequent re-reading. I hope this will become the cliff ledge that helps you quit holding on, and finally climb to the top like you've long deserved.
Much love,
Katie

Our Deepest Fear
By Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us. 

We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. 

Your playing small
Does not serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine,
As children do.

We were born to make manifest
The glory of God that is within us. 

It's not just in some of us;
It's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we're liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.